I swore I wasn't gonna...but I did. I ate all the leftover Halloween candy. *Oh, the shame!* It was a lot. I'm not gonna lie or try to sugar coat it. *Pun intended* I pretty much have been binging, one bite sized piece at a time. And now its officially cold out here in The Midwest and its 'Cuddle Weather' and I'm still fluffy! Boo!*Yes, this is a drawing but its pretty much exactly what I look like right now without my clothes on. Except my boobs are not quite as awesomely huge. And yes, you're welcome perverts.*
So, yesterday I pulled it together, threw what was left of the candy out of my house, *You can't even donate Dum-dums, nobody wants them. They shouldn't even technically be classified as candy as they are utterly joyless.* and re-committed to my healthy eating and workout program. Which is why this post is gonna be short and sweet *Puns! Again, I think I'm super funny* because I still need to get my workout on tonight.
For the record, I am just trying to get My Pretty Girl Discount and be the best version of me. I'm still not trying to change everything about me, just the parts that are holding me back. *Like my fathead*
However, before I log off to get my beast mode on, I just wanna *Briefly* get my rant on first. Today, I was shocked to discover that Disney *Aka the Evil Empire* is trying to sex up all it's female characters. Luckily, when they tried to give Merida from BRAVE an extreme makeover, the internet went nuts. *Those trolls are good for something after all. Thanks guys! It's now safe to return to your steady diet of porn and commenting on Reddit.*
So Disney recanted and went back to the original design which made her more of a badass warrior than a wench at a local Ren Faire. *Power to the people, y'all!* But that hasn't stopped them from changing everyone else. Oh no! They have re-designed all the other Disney ladies, giving them nose & boob jobs, bigger lips, skinnier frames and way more makeup. They also downplayed anything that made them seem independent or strong. *Really, what is the difference between the way a porn star, Real Housewives of Wherever and a Disney Princess looks? Trick question. Now there is none*
This sucks! They are basically telling little girls that their only worth is in being the object of desire, not what they can accomplish or create with their brains or skills. Now, listen...I clearly have issues based on how I look and I *obviously* want to be considered as pretty as the next girl *Or prettier! I want to be the prettiest girl in all the land! Is that cool with you, mirror-mirror?*, but I'm also proud of who I am as a person. I've worked hard to be educated, kind and friendly and to become what *I hope* is pretty much a well rounded person...not just a pretty person who is *Temporarily* round. My point is, women should be celebrated for both beauty and brains, not just one or the other. *And little girls especially, should not have to worry about being fuckable. What? Yes, I said it. Because basically, that's what this amounts to.*
They also shouldn't have to fit into Disney's narrow definition of what is considered 'hot'. I mean, check out Princess Tiana. *The only African-American Princess* They gave her an obvious nose job among other things. *What does that say to all the young black girls out there? I mean don't they already have to go through enough without having to live up to the unrealistic expectations of a cartoon? *
But I get it, the sexier these princesses become, the more they have a shot at snagging the prince. Listen I too, would love for Prince Charming to come *And not just on my face this time*
But I'm not gonna pretend to be something I'm not. And I'm not gonna be just waiting around for him *Singing to the birds, sleeping or scrubbing floors*. Instead, I'm gonna step away from the candy and rescue myself. And when he does show up I fully expect him to love all of me and not just the pretty parts. *And that fairy tale, has the best ending of all.*
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