So, this week I tried to recapture the magic. I banned all complaining *Which, if you've ever tried it lately is really super hard. Go on, try it for just an hour. I dare you!* and instead embraced getting back to the basics.
I went with a friend and her kids *Awesome, adorable, smart, funny little people, not annoying in the slightest* to an old timey pumpkin patch. We meandered around pulling a wagon and loading up on gourds. And...it was actually fun! They didn't have a huge amount of pumpkins though due to the drought *Damn you Global Warming after effects* but I kept my mouth shut even though that meant we would have to make another trip to the grocery store to buy pumpkins for carving. On our way home, we drove thru a nearby farm and the scent of cattle wafting in the air threatened to make me vomit in my mouth a little but I was determined not to break. I simply smiled instead. *And secretly vowed to eat a hamburger when I got home. Revenge meal. It's the circle of life!*
When I got home, I decorated my house with some fabulous Fall flair.
The only thing missing was a pumpkin spice scented candle. Because I might live in the suburbs now, but I still have my standards. No X-mas sweaters for me either. *Seriously? Does everything have to be pumpkin spiced this time of year? Yesterday, I saw a sign for a "Pumpkin Spice Pedicure. Really?* *Dammit! Did I just complain? Shoot!*
I also spent quality time this weekend raking leaves for the first time in my life *Not lazy. I just moved into my first house, remember?* and although, yeah...it wasn't on the same level as say, a frosty cocktail and the latest season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I still enjoyed it. I just put on some cute shorts, a pair of boots and went to work. No complaining allowed.
I raked for hours and in no particular order I also...
Saw a baby bunny rabbit
Killed a spider and decimated numerous webs *I hate spiders. They are the hardest working assholes on the planet*
Waved hello to a bunch of neighbors walking their dog
Chatted with a young girl riding her bike
Got an awesome workout
Threw in some major weeding as well because what the hell, I was already sweaty and gross
and finally, got shit on by a large goose. *Welcome to the neighborhood*
It took everything I had not to complain about that one and I'm so proud that I didn't. However, I might have screamed. Really loudly. *This was the most disgusting thing that has happened to me in a long, long time. It seriously was all over my clothes, hands, etc. Thank God I was wearing a hat*
But back to raking. I don't think I am disposing of my leaves correctly. Everyone else on my block had these special suburban brown paper bags, all neatly stacked at the end of their driveways. I just stuck mine in huge Hefty sacks and left them by the trash. But whatever, the job was done!
*I realize this photo is tilted. I couldn't get it adjusted. It was super frustrating. Not that I'm complaining or anything*
As I walked inside I checked my phone for messages and noticed that I had a text waiting from an ex. "Hey Girl, what's up?" You know those trolling texts? The ones guys send out hoping that someone who was willing to have sex with them in the past might be desperate enough to somehow be willing to have sex with them again? *Save the planet, recycle*
In the past, I might have entertained the thought *I most likely would have also invited him over and entertained his penis as well. I'm an excellent hostess* but now I'm too smart. I know that If I want my Pretty Girl Discount and want to be treated right as a woman...I can't act like I'm not worth much. I can't act like all it takes is a text and some superficial sweet talk.
So I deleted the text, refused to spend any energy complaining about what a jackwagon that guy was *Ha! That didn't count* and simply carried on.
And it felt good. It felt like joy.
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